WHEN ALIENS ATTACK PART 32: JENNIFER LOPEZ TURNS TO THE DARKSIDE

J.Lo and hubby Marc Anthony continue to cozy up to TomKat, possibly preparing to become Scientology's latest celebrity recruits. In fact, her father has been a Scientologist for more than 20 years.

"It's weird people want to paint [Scientology] in a negative way," she says. "It's just sad that people would look at it in that way." It sure sounds like Jenny, who's Catholic just like Katie was before falling under Tom's spell is well on her way to joining the church.

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WHEN ALIENS ATTACK PART 31: TOM CRUISE PAID ENOUGH MONEY TO BE THE HEAD OF THE ALIEN CULT

Tom Cruise has been named the new "Christ" of Scientology, according to the leaders of the religion. The Mission: Impossible star has reportedly been told that he has been chosen to spread the word of his faith throughout the world. Leader David Miscavige believes that in the future Cruise will be revered like Jesus for his work in propagating the religion.

A source told The Sun, "Tom has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he's been criticized for his views. But future generations will realize he was right." Cruise joined the Church of Scientology in the 1980s and has recently risen to one of the Church's top levels.
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This is the funniest thing I have ever read. This cult really is funny. I guess anyone can be the new Christ if you pay them enough. Also, when did Christ demand a large fee in order to follow him or hear him preach?

WHEN ALIENS ATTACK PART 29: TOM CRUISE IS BEGGING THE BECKHMANS TO BECOME FULL FLEDGE ALIENS!

Tom Cruise is trying to recruit the Beckhams to the Scientology cult, but Victoria told him “Hands off our cash”.

Tom Cruise is obsessed with the alien religion and believes David would benefit from joining. “Tom spoke to David for hours about Scientology. He feels it could help to lift him out of the blues over his football career.

However, Victoria needing all her money for plastic surgery has ruled it out because members have to make large, regular cash donations. “Victoria is having none of it. She can’t see the point of joining something like that where you have to donate money.”

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WHEN ALIENS ATTACK PART 28: TRYING TO LOOK NORMAL

The Alien Royal Princess and royal subject made a round at the Ivy last night trying to look normal. Tom Cruise helped the alien ladies out of the car and left. Is this supposed to look like a normal girls night out or something? It's anything but normal! Celebs only go to the Ivy if they want the media around. They don't go for the shitastic food.. oh oops no need for Victoria to worry about that! She doesn't eat anyway!
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